Have you ever met someone for the first time and realized that you were hitting it off? If so, you may have the same thinking style, according to Dr. David Fraser in Relationship Mastery. For example, you may both be visual thinkers. If you have trouble connecting with someone, it could very well be because you have different thinking styles: you may think visually, and the other person may be more of an auditory thinker, for example. So, how do you bridge that difficult gap with someone who has a different style so that you can communicate effectively? First, be able to identify the thinking style of others, by paying attention to certain cues that will reveal a person's thinking style. Then, you can acclimate your speaking patterns to match the other's style. Fraser identifies four different thinking styles, which include visual, kinesthetic, auditory, and auditory-digital. Then he explains all of this in a simple, easy to understand way.
Thinking styles are just one facet of the twelve steps in Neuro-Linguistic Programming, which is the methodology advocated by Dr. Fraser. Neuro-Linguistic Programming is an intimidating label applied to the skill set that leads to improved relationships in every area of life. This programming relies on learned material from the areas of psychology, Provocative Therapy, semantics and anthropology. Dr. Fraser developed these concepts into a twelve-step system that simplifies the intimidating label.
The twelve steps are in the following areas: Attention to others, attitude, self-control, wavelength, filters, connection, values, language, self-awareness, attention to yourself, balance and love.
Dr. Fraser wrote that approximately 100 days of work in these areas should produce results that are noticeable to others. Although this book can be read in a matter of hours, working on the specific areas will require more time.
He cites the wonderful body of work by Dale Carnegie in his relationship study, but makes the point that the area of human relations has been more highly developed since Carnegie's time.
Boxed sections can be found interspersed throughout each chapter, breaking up the reading material into chewable, smaller bites. These boxed sections cover specific real-life examples, steps to take, summaries and special topics. He also peppers his writing with applicable quotes from Carl Jung, Jim Collins, Albert Einstein, Albert E.N.Gray, Dale Carnegie, Milton Erikson, Richard Koch and many others.
Dr. Fraser's engaging style breaks down a complex system into easily understood concepts. I highly recommend this book for anyone who could improve in the area of interpersonal relationships.
Note: This book was provided to me free of charge in a Goodread's Book Giveaway, in return for performing the book review. No representation was made by me to give a favorable review of this book.
Thanksgiving Challenge and Joy Dare
Today, I am thankful for:
62. Selfless service by others
63. Travel mercies for friends.
64. Reading and writing.
copyright 2012 by Kathy Robbins